The love has shut ...

The love shall begin in my mind and last forever ,
People say , love is about the start of having someone with you .
Love for me is to think of how to end with a person I love the most right now .
I shut myself inside my room , I can never crawl out the room without a key .
My destination is always 4 walls faced to me ,
there is only a bed , a chair , a cupboard , a table and etc .

I knew you like wearing nice attire , having nice fashions , doing things you like without knowing that it would hurt you badly . I wouldn't want you to suffer like me , I am regret being like this for you .

I wish to see you when I am very weak , but right now , I don't even feel like letting you to see me , I felt very disgust about myself . I ask myself through the mirror , if I don't love myself , how am I able to love someone else . But I get an answer from myself , reminds me that I've lost the most important thing in my life , and that's you .

You wouldn't know how pain do I feel , I only can feel that the pain you feel were merely isn't counted as pain . You just love the presents I bought you , you like it very much , having your smile is my entire life happy moments ever . But can you just once think of how I feel ? Can you put everything aside , and really ask how am I ? I don't think so , I just have to tell myself , everything is dead , I shall leave it behind , and walk the way I should walk .
But how ? The key isn't with me , without motivation , I'm motionless .
I knew you knew how pain I am right now , but you just won't help me to stop myself from this pain ...

A part of you has grown in me .
And so you see , it's you and me
Together forever and never apart ,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart .

That farewell kiss which resembles greeting , that last glance of love which becomes the sharpest pang of sorrow . The simple lack of you is more to me than others' presence .

If the only place where I could see you was in my dreams , I will sleep forever ....